Two Months In...

Well, I'm two months in.

At 10:53am on January 16, I put out what ended up being my last cigarette. I was motivated but, at the same time, I was absolutely sure I would fail. I'd smoked for 35 years, after all. Seriously, what were the odds I would actually be able to quit?

Well, apparently, the odds were pretty good. I haven't lit up in two months. Without going into details, I'll just say that there have been more than a few things which have occurred over the last two months for which I could've been forgiven a miss-step. I forced myself to wait out the craving, though, each and every time I got one. Hell, I'm craving a smoke right now.

Not gonna' do it, though.

In all honesty, this isn't anywhere near the hardest thing I've ever done. In fact, if I knew it was going to be this easy, I would've quit 20 years ago. I didn't want to quit back then, though, so it probably wouldn't have worked.

Between a prescription for Wellbutrin and six weeks worth of 21mg nicotine patches, I've stopped smoking. I'm supposed to wear 14mg patches for two weeks, and then 7mg patches for two weeks, and then I'm done with the patches. I still have one 21mg patch left, though. I may or may not use it. I may skip the 14mg patches and jump right to the 7mg patches. Maybe I'll go have a cigar.

Okay, no cigar.

People ask me if I feel better. Well, I suppose I do. I don't really think about it, though. I know I'm not coughing up any internal organs when I wake up anymore, so I gotta' count that as a plus. The other thing I notice is that, since I quit, I've been waking up earlier. A lot earlier. It's not unusual for me to roll out of bed at 5:00am now, even though I don't really have to.

Now, I have no intention of being that militant ex-smoker that we all seem to know. Actually, I don't mind the smell of someone having a cigarette. I won't run away screaming, and I won't demean them for being a smoker. Instead, I'll probably walk through the trail of smoke emanating from their cigarette and take a whiff.

Will I never smoke again? I'm going to say "Yes, I will never smoke again", even though I'm well aware that the recidivism rate for smokers is ridiculously high. But I have no intention of ever firing up again.

I've been told that the most difficult times are the 30 day, 60 day, and 90 days marks. Well, I've got two of those down with one to go.

And I think I'm gonna' make it...